A Lasting Marriage?

Mark 10:1-16

How many years does a marriage last?

Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash

He left that place and went to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan. And crowds again gathered around him; and, as was his custom, he again taught them. Some Pharisees came, and to test him they asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" He answered them, "What did Moses command you?" They said, "Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her." But Jesus said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart he wrote this commandment for you. But from the beginning of creation, 'God made them male and female.' 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." Then in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery." People were bringing little children to him in order that he might touch them; and the disciples spoke sternly to them. But when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and said to them, "Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it." And he took them up in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them. - Mark 10:1-16

According to USA Today, which did not identify its research source, 41% of first marriages end in divorce. For second marriages, it is 60% and for third marriages, it is 73%.

It appears that once you see divorce as an option, you tend to do it again and again.

So much for the "let no one separate" command Jesus mentioned.

But in the U.S., only 47% of couples marry, so it seems we have found a way around the problem of divorce.

There used to be a skin disease that was used as a metaphor for infidelity in George Axelrod's 1952 play, The Seven Year Itch, about a phenomenon where couples enter into a period of dissatisfaction with one another and look for a way out.

There is some truth to this, given the average length of a marriage before the first divorce is about 8 years.

Marriage today is not the avenue of choice for many, and those who do marry tend to start later than they did in decades before. And, they date for much longer today, about 5 years on average.

When my parents married, they had known each other for about a year. They stayed together throughout the marriage, even though there were times when it seemed like they were not that happy with one another.

That was normal then. We made a decision, at an early age, and stuck with it, for the most part.

But we want more today.

We want to have a wonderful life, not the kind George and Mary Bailey had in the movie of the same name, but something better, more romantic, more exciting.

Good luck with that.

In Jesus' day, women had few options for earning a living without a husband to provide for her. Yes, there were some women, mostly widows, who had businesses and acquired wealth on their own, but they were rare. So, Jesus pointed out how evil it was for Moses to allow the men to divorce and abandon their wives.

That is logical. You made a contract to provide for this woman and now you want to break it?

Today, women have more options, even though all is not equal and fair. They can make their own way in life, and so they can be choosy.

Men? Well, it depends on who you talk to. Men are painted as evil and lecherous by some women, and that is a reputation some men have placed on all men.

So, here we are, breaking the bond that God has blessed.

It's not that we don't respect God's actions. Even among Christians, most weddings these days take place outside religious institutions. Who doesn't want a wedding at the beach or in a vineyard?

So, maybe God has lost His hold on the whole wedding process, and like many traditions, it has become a secular event. God need not attend.

But then, there is the couple. What do they believe, and how committed are they to one another?

Interfaith marriages are on the rise, and 27% of Millennials were raised by parents from different faiths. So, maybe there is hope for a better world.

Like most of God's commandments, this one Jesus focuses on has become a take ot or leave it suggestion. We are becoming different in our faith.

I won't say we are losing faith in God, because I don't believe we are. I believe everyone finds his or her own path to God, and that means one thing.

The Holy Spirit is very busy these days.

More to come...

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