A Wretch Like Me
In tonight's Education for Ministry class, Year 2 students are reading Paul's epistles, including the letters to Timothy.
Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. - 1 Timothy 1:15
Year 1 is reading Ezekiel, the dry bones visionary we have all come to know and love.
Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord!" - Ezekiel 37:4
It is not often easy to find a common thread in the lessons across the years, but in this case, I think we can find one, redemption.
One of the songs that comes to mind when I hear stories of turning one's life around is Amazing Grace.
I find that singing the first verse gives me reason to think hard about my own wretchedness.
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....
I know we say that we are all sinners, but that isn't how we like to see ourselves, is it?
I attended a Kairos Outside closing yesterday and experienced amazing grace in many of the witness stories I heard from the women who attended the weekend retreat. Kairos Outside is a ministry that shares Christ's love with women impacted by incarceration of a loved one.
The joy that can rise up out of the deepest darkness is truly a thing of beauty, and it is nothing short of a miracle.
What I have learned form the stories of others is that wretchedness is a prison, a state of mind, a condition of isolation and a place of low self-worth. It is not always self-inflicted, but can be left in place of the love and laughter that once filled a home, a heart and a life.
Most of my life, I lived in a bubble. I had no idea that there were people all around me who were dealing with deep personal pain, with troubled souls, who had been abused and who had been abusive to themselves or others. Within my bubble, I could imagine these horrible circumstances as monsters that attacked others, the poor, the weak, the addicted.
It has only been during the last decade or two that I woke up, broke out of the bubble and seen the face of God in the faces of those who had learned how to keep the pain buried, if not forgotten.
Kairos Outside logo
On rare occasions, like the past weekend, the surface cracks and the pain, anger, guilt, fear, and burden of a lifetime of wretchedness, both self-inflicted and brought on by others, is given up, offered up to God and removed from the faces, hearts and souls of those who had been held captive for so long.
In the closing ceremony, we got to see the joy, the love and the new birth, without having to experience the pain of that labor of love. We laughed, we sang, we cried and we cheered for those women who had found sisters where there had been loneliness, laughter where there had been silence, love where there had been hatred, and light where there had been darkness.
To live my life content with myself and comfortable in my own bubble is a form of wretchedness. I can isolate myself from all that leads to a life of grace and true meaning, simply by building up pretty walls of protective self-interest. But what kind of life is that?
In November, there will be another Kairos Outside retreat, and I am sure many of the women who attended this one will be hard working team members collecting donations while preparing their talks, updating their materials, and thinking up the surprises that make the weekend journey so special and so filled with God's love.
I will be looking to introduce a new church community to the Kairos experience, because we have no way of knowing who may be suffering in pain within our own congregations. We are all capable of doing something to help change a life.
Yes, even a wretch like me.
To find out more about Kairos Outside's NYC chapter, visit: www.kairosoutsidenyc.org