Avoiding the Write Off

It's not easy to resolve differences we have with one another.  When someone does something to harm us to take advantage of us, we tend to get mad and maybe get even.

Jesus said, “If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one. But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. - Matthew 18:15-17

Jesus did seem to get mad from time to time, and he had an interesting approach to getting even with someone who did wrong by him.  He would offer them more of what they sought from him in an effort to diminish their power.

An example is turning the other cheek and walking the extra mile.

But here, he seems to offer more detailed advice, a three step process of reconciliation that begins with trying to resolve the problem one-on-one.

We all know that doesn't always work.  Rarely does someone who has hurt us see the light immediately and ask our forgiveness, or repay the debt.

So, he tells us to go back again, this time with witnesses, kind of like a mini trial by one's peers.  And if that doesn't shame them into truthfulness, bring the matter to the church.

I'm not sure anyone would be too concerned if I brought a personal matter before the church today.  The church is not the same type of community as it was then, when it was the center of law and authority.

The equivalent today might be to take it to court.

And if all those things fail, and this I think is the true get even part, then treat the person as one you would no longer associate with.  Write him off.  Take him out of the will.  Treat him as dead.

What I believe Jesus is telling us is that we don't have to be taken advantage of.  We can be loving and supportive of others, not by giving in to their whims, but by leading them back to the truth.

I try to follow that advice in my dealings with people in need, but it is not always easy to do.  The problem is the steps break down.  I get to the one-on-one part and then when that fails, I hesitate.

Maybe if I could team up with a couple of folks who would come with me, we could get to a resolution.

It's worth a try, since I know what happens if I don't do that.  We either stay stuck on one-on-one and nothing gets resolved, or we jump straight to the write off.

If I really want to avoid that last step, I need to find people willing to go with me.  Are you game?

More to come...