Caring for the Caregivers
There comes a time when the world turns upside down, when those who have cared for us need our care.
It is tough to change roles, to suddenly find yourself the one whose days and nights are no longer yours, but are now subject to a call from someone in need, from a parent who can no longer care for himself or herself.
For Moses said, 'Honor your father and your mother'; and, 'Whoever speaks evil of father or mother must surely die.' But you say that if anyone tells father or mother, 'Whatever support you might have had from me is Corban' (that is, an offering to God) then you no longer permit doing anything for a father or mother, thus making void the word of God through your tradition that you have handed on. And you do many things like this." - Mark 7:10-13
When challenged by the Pharisees for letting his disciples eat without washing their hands, Jesus became angry and accused them of being hypocrites.
The example he chose was that of breaking one of the commandments, honor thy father and mother.
When we think of honor, we think of respect. We wouldn't think of disrespecting our parents, even if we do believe they are outdated in their thinking or out of touch and old-fashioned. We accept their strange perspectives and traditions, and would never defy them.
But is that what Jesus is talking about?
Corban - a sacrifice or offering to God.
Jesus accuses these religious leaders of abandoning their responsibility to take care of their parents in their old age. "What I would give to you, I give to God instead," he accuses them of saying.
In other words, "My job, my ministry, my mission, my life comes first."
How could anyone say anything like that to a parent in need?
Perhaps we don't use those words, but don't we think along those lines from time to time?
Not this weekend, Mom, I have to travel on business. Perhaps next weekend?
Is there anything more precious than our time? Is there anything Mom or Day wants more than to spend what few hours they have with the ones they brought into this world?
What would you want if it was you?
Jesus is spreading on the guilt and we should all take a taste of the bitter spread he has prepared for us. Most of us will see the day when we don;t have a parent to run to and talk to. Mine are gone, and though the years pass, I still think of them, dream about them, want to pick up the phone and share an experience with them.
I cannot go back and change the choices I made. They are gone.
Today, as I start this day thinking of them, I pray for all who are burdened and feeling guilty for the way they feel about taking care of their aging parent or guardian.
May God's grace pour down on you and may the Spirit grant you peace and strength to smile and comfort your loved ones. May you cherish this day more than any other and may you grow closer to the heart and soul of the person who cherished you more than you will ever know. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.
More to come...