Challenging Children

At what age are children the most challenging?

Is it during those terrible twos when they learn the significance and power of "No"?  Or is it when they discover their wings as young teens and fly off here and there without notice or warning?

My little children, for whom I am again in the pain of childbirth until Christ is formed in you, I wish I were present with you now and could change my tone, for I am perplexed about you. - Galatians 4:19-20

In today's reading, Paul is talking to the members of the church in Galatia like a disappointed parent trying to make sense of the actions of a rebellious teenager.  He is perplexed, a feeling parents know all too well.

But we have to ask ourselves why we are surprised.  Didn't we do the same?

It seems no matter what our childhood was like, our memories of it are much more tame.  We see the world around us today as more threatening, more enticing for our children than it was for us and we become overly protective.

As Paul discovered, it isn't enough for us to tell people not to do as we did.  All of us need to experience life for ourselves, and that is hard for a parent to accept.

As I watch my grandsons explode onto the world as teenagers, I am torn between wanting them to stay safe and secure and wanting them to be independent and capable adults, to become more mature than I was at their age.

Fat chance that will happen.

My maturity level could be brought into question even now, forty-some-odd years after my foray into that world.  So, what do we do?  How do we take the wisdom we feel we have gained and pass it along to those who could really benefit from it?

I think all we can do is be there, willing and able to take the time to answer questions when they come.  And they will come, if we are open to listening for them.

Maybe that's the role of a grandparent, to be the ears that may not hear too well anymore, but have the patience to try.

And while we are waiting, we need to set an example, living the life we want for them.  They may not want to be like us and that's ok, but they will know what being like us is all about.  What greater gift can we give?

Love is patient.  Love is kind.

Thanks, Paul, for reminding us that it is also frustrating.

More to come...


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