Fire Pit Conversations
Recently, while we were having dinner at a favorite restaurant, I glanced over at a nearby table and had a vision.
I envisioned my grandson sitting with his grown family years in the future, after I am gone.
It was a strange feeling and it lasted only a second or two. It was both comforting and eerie. I would love to be there and be a part of his life when he has children his age.
In that instant, I felt reassured that he will have a good life, but the eerie part was that I was simply projecting my hopes into the future and that future will be what it will be, with or without me.
We must no longer be children, tossed to and fro and blown about by every wind of doctrine, by people's trickery, by their craftiness in deceitful scheming. - Ephesians 4:14
In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul tells us that we need to take responsibility for who we are, what we believe and how we live. We aren't children anymore.
It may be a lot easier for me to accept that than to be ready for my grandsons to be "all grown up".
There is so much I want them to know before they go off on their own and make decisions for themselves. Come to think of it, I am not always so confident that I can do that for myself. But the consequences of my decisions are mine. I can bear those.
People tell me I am lucky because I got to be a grandparent without ever being a parent, and yes, there are obvious benefits to that. I get to experience the joy without the pain.
Well, there is a downside to that.
I haven't learned how to let go.
As the boys get older and act more independent, making decisions for themselves, arguing their points, revealing and hiding their emotions, I want to spend more time with them.
When one of them wants to sit around the fire on a chilly autumn night and just talk, I am in heaven.
I am not ready to apply Paul's words to them. They still need time - to grow, to learn, to experience the joys of being tossed to and fro, if not by a variety of doctrines, then by life itself.
I think we all want our children and grandchildren to believe what we believe and act the way we act, and that is not always the way things turn out.
But as long as the boys want to gather around the fire and talk - as long as I am in the picture, I can share and listen. Maybe something that takes place in those fire pit conversations will sink in and become the source of strength they will need when they are tossed about to and fro.
At least I can pray for that.
More to come...