Life Together

It is always good news when I hear that someone is planning on getting married.

He answered, "Have you not read that the one who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." - Matthew 19:4-6

Part of today's Gospel reading is often heard at weddings.  What God has joined together, let no one separate is viewed as a commitment to a life as one.

But not all marriages last.  The commitment fails and what is joined by God comes apart.

Becoming one in marriage is more than a physical joining of two bodies.  It is heart to heart and soul to soul.  It is a process of replacing two egos, two identities, with one new one, encompassing both and not favoring one over the other.

The failure comes when one or both have trouble letting go of the self in favor of the new partnership.

So one has to wonder if the marriage is true when the commitment is false.

At the moment two people begin their life together, does anyone think of divorce?  Certainly not the couple, though some guests may wonder.

So what about us, the friends and family?  Should we say something if we see something that bothers us about the relationship and what we see for the future?

There is a time in the ceremony when we are asked to speak up, but by then who is willing to say anything?  No, the time to speak is long before the couple plans to marry.

But that doesn't mean it is up to us to stop a couple from marrying.  No one wants to be the one to spoil the plans.  We all love a wedding and the hope it brings.  Perhaps it can all work out.  Perhaps he or she will change.

I believe the message Jesus is giving his followers is that marriage is sacred and it shouldn't be entered into lightly or without commitment.  True love, selfless love makes it work, but only of both participate.

One person cannot carry the burdens alone.

So, for all who contemplate a life together, let us all pray that they are open to each other and are willing to accept the commitment they are making.

May we all look with hope on the future and share in the joy of a loving relationship that lasts.

More to come...