Making Peace

To whom should we confess our sins and transgressions?

'You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, "You shall not murder"; and "whoever murders shall be liable to judgment." But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, "You fool," you will be liable to the hell of fire. So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift. Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way.' - Matthew 5:21-25

When I was young, I was told that when I sin, I am sinning against God, so I must confess to God. 

I must be truly repentant, eager to change my ways, and ready to live differently going forward.

But there was something wrong with that picture.  If my sin was against you, what good is confessing to God?  Shouldn't I make peace with you first?

That is what Jesus is saying here, and that makes sense to me.

After all, how would you know I offered to change if I never tell you?

Our entire process of confession put God in the middle of our battles with our brothers and sisters, and all that did, I think, is make it easy for us to slip back into the same behavior.

I can understand why we did it.  It is a lot easier to tell God we're sorry than to confront the one we really have a problem with, isn't it?

So, what Jesus is saying is troubling for many.  If I have a fight with my sister, I can't just go tell God I'm sorry and be done with it.  I have to go back to her first.

Yuk!

Makes me want to think twice about having the battle in the first place.

And that's the point, isn't it?  Whether we are convinced our actions are fully justified or not, leaving the problem unresolved makes us carry a burden we don't need and God doesn't want.

So, what if the other person doesn't want to meet in the middle?  Then, how do we do this?  How do we reconcile?

I think we have to try to see the situation through their eyes.  And if we do, and find there is something we cannot fix or change, we might want to address the relationship differently.

Sometimes the thing we are fighting over isn't the thing at all.  If we can build a bridge between us, we might be able to meet there, where the obstacle is not in sight.

After all, God's life will be so much nicer if none of us have to come running to Him to confess.

More to come...