Roundabout Repentance
Do you feel you have all your priorities straight?
"If I have made gold my trust, or called fine gold my confidence; if I have rejoiced because my wealth was great, or because my hand had gotten much; if I have looked at the sun when it shone, or the moon moving in splendor, and my heart has been secretly enticed, and my mouth has kissed my hand; this also would be an iniquity to be punished by the judges, for I should have been false to God above. - Job 31:24-28
In today's reading we hear Job make a final bid for God's attention. He wants God to know that he regrets having given God the appearance of putting wealth and riches above all else.
He doesn't actually admit to having done so, though. Instead he offers what I think is a statement of understanding.
If I have been guilty of this, then my punishment is just.
It is kind of a roundabout way of repenting, isn't it? He hasn't really admitted to any misdoing, and yet it sounds like he has.
In the very beginning of the Job story, he is worried about his children. He prays to God to have mercy on them for they live the kind of life he is describing here, one focused on wealth and self-interest.
His roundabout repentance is not a statement of his guilt as much as it is an understanding of what his children did wrong, and how their choices have affected him as well as them.
In trying to understand why God is punishing him, he has come around to accept that his actions may have been the cause of his own pain, though he hs a hard time figuring out what he should or could have done differently.
I guess I would be the same way. If I truly believe I am right, I would have a hard time seeing where I might be wrong.
This is why Jesus tells us we cannot serve two masters. When I put my desire for a good life above all else, I may not see the things I do as wrong. I am doing what is best for my family and myself.
So, what did Job do wrong? Did he fail to lead his children back to their faith? Did he abandon his post as a father?
Like Job, we may never figure out the true reason bad things happen. They just do at times. And I think that is all the more reason to turn to God for help. Yes, we may want to yell at Him at times, but He is a big guy. He can take that, so long as we stay close.
And if we should turn away, we can turn back. That is how awesome God is. He accepts our apologies and even our roundabout way of repenting.
Thank God for that.
More to come...