Single Again

Rose, a dear friend and fellow team member for our upcoming Kairos weekend asked me if I could share a few thoughts on what she can offer a women's group she is leading.

The group is called Single Again, and it meets monthly in NYC.  It is not a meet-up group and not all the women in the group have designs on meeting up with anyone at this point in their lives.  It is a support group which will grow and blossom into whatever God has in mind for it.

Rose and I were talking about how she can structure her program to benefit these women, most of whom have a solid foundation in Scripture and Church.  We asked the question, "What does The Bible offer them?"

You might think that The Bible would be an excellent source of strength for anyone facing changes in their life, especially the loss of a spouse.  The sudden transition from being in a relationship to being alone can carry with it many emotions.

From the beginning of Genesis, though, we learn that it is not a good thing to be alone.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” - Genesis 2:17-19

But if it is not good for man to be alone, the same must hold true for women.  It is not good for anyone to be alone.

And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him. A threefold cord is not quickly broken. - Ecclesiastes 4:11-13

There is strength in unity with others, and that strength is something we all need to overcome the trials of our daily lives.

So, The Bible offers strength.  It is important to start there, because many of the Bible stories about widows and divorced women portray these women as poor, isolated and in need of care.  That was how the world was back then.  A woman needed a husband to provide for her or she would become the responsibility of the community, a ward of the Temple.

It was the Temple leaders that Jesus railed against for not taking care of the widow who put her last two coins in the treasury.

And a poor widow came, and put in two copper coins, which make a penny.  And he called his disciples to him, and said to them, “Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the treasury. - Mark 12:42-43

Like the widow Elijah encountered who had too little food to share, resigning herself to die with her son after making one last cake, this woman was finished.  She had no hope or help left.

So, what is the lesson here?

Surely we think we are better off today, that our society no longer shuns and abandons single women.  Women work outside the home and many are the sole providers for their families, so there is no shame in being alone, but that doesn't mean it is easy and it may not be preferred.

Over the coming months, the Single Again group at Rose's church will be building a community.  They will come together each month to share their thoughts and concerns, study Scripture, and more importantly, develop friendships.

We can all help them by keeping them in our prayers, along with all who feel that they are alone.

We are not alone.  As children of the one God, we are brothers and sisters, and that is something we all need to remember when life gets hard.

So, here is a thought.  If you have any positive hat you would like to share with Rose and her group, send them to me and I will see she gets them.  A kind word or a gentle touch can change the world.