The Confidence Game
What you see here, what you hear here, when you leave here, let it stay here.
One of the main lessons in our Kairos training is to maintain confidentiality. In our 36 hours of team training leading up to the retreat weekend, we learn that everything we hear in training and on the weekend, is confidential and needs to stay that way. We want the women who come as guests to know that whatever they choose to share about their lives is safe with us.
Never repeat a conversation, and you will lose nothing at all. With friend or foe do not report it, and unless it would be a sin for you, do not reveal it; for someone may have heard you and watched you, and in time will hate you. Have you heard something? Let it die with you. Be brave, it will not make you burst! - Sirach 19:7-10
Why do we find it hard to keep from sharing what we hear?
Is it that important for us to be in the know, to have something shocking or new to share with people we know? What are we trying to prove? That we are special or worth being called a friend? Would a true friend trust us with a secret after we shared someone else's?
In today's lesson, Sirach tells us we should let gossip die with us rather than share it. That's pretty blunt, but it is actually excellent advice. What good is knowing this stuff anyway?
Some things are just not worth knowing at all.
When we prepare for our Kairos weekend, our goal is to share God's love. We certainly can't win the confidence of the women who come as guests, if we gossip about each other or others. In fact, we work hard to weed out such behavior before the weekend, because without confidence, there would be no weekend.
Sometimes, though, we can give the appearance of avoiding gossip, and yet fall right into the trap of sharing what should be kept private.
One way to do that is prayer gossip.
When we reveal something we heard in confidence during a prayer for that person, we are using prayer to gossip. It could be as simple as praying for someone's health when no one knew he was sick, or the healthy birth of a baby no one knew was coming.
I think it is easier to keep things private. If I share something I shouldn't, I then have to remember who I told and that's work.
So, why bother?
If someone wants me to know something, they will tell me, and they can rest assured that I will keep it to myself. It's safer that way.
More to come...
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