The Good Son

Expectations matter.

If I expect you to show up and you don't, I get upset, but if I expect you not to show and you do, I rejoice.

'What do you think? A man had two sons; he went to the first and said, "Son, go and work in the vineyard today." He answered, "I will not"; but later he changed his mind and went. The father went to the second and said the same; and he answered, "I go, sir"; but he did not go Which of the two did the will of his father?' They said, 'The first.' Jesus said to them, 'Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are going into the kingdom of God ahead of you. For John came to you in the way of righteousness and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes believed him; and even after you saw it, you did not change your minds and believe him. - Matthew 21:28-32

I get a sense in today's reading that the son who says he will do the work is probably not trustworthy, while the other, the one who refuses, may be headstrong and argumentative, but loyal.

I have nothing to substantiate those feelings, other than my personal experiences.  I want the one who refuses to be worthy of rejection by the father, someone who usually says one thing and does another, not one who usually does what he is says.

That's because I would hate to see someone who usually does what he is told to be ostracized for one failure.  Could it be that I am feeling guilty for those times I say 'yes' without meaning 'yes'?

The good son could have been the one who always says 'yes' but this time didn't do what he said, and that is what is so troubling about this situation.  It is not about what we have done, but about what we do now, and now, in this moment, the good son doesn't do the father's will.

Now, the other son could be the good one.  He could be the one who always does the will of the father, even when he doesn't want to, and voices his opinion loudly.

We get the impression though that Jesus is talking about patterns of behavior, and not single instances.  He is using this example to point out the hypocrisy of the so called righteous who display all the trappings of their faith, but fail to commit to it in actions and words.

I get that, but I can't help wonder if I can apply this to the single circumstance when someone I trust fails to do what I expect.

Will I let the one instance taint my view of him, or will I be forgiving?

And what if he fails a second time?  Does my view of him change?

And what about the other who is not expected to be worthy of my trust?  Do I change my view of him when he does what I ask after refusing?

Following Jesus is not as simple as it seems at first glance.  Being a good son is one thing, but being the father is something quite different.

Luckily we are called to be the sons.

More to come...