The Silent Call
I am trying to catch up today. I have been so busy the past few days, I have not had a chance to compose my thoughts in the morning.
It is Tuesday and the ordination is on Saturday. Four days from now, I will be nervous. That's good to know, because it gives me time to prepare.
Experience tells me that what can go wrong, will wait until the last minute to go wrong, and that was true here.
The issue of the one hold-out previous employer that failed to send in a background check has been addressed, and though it was not resolved, it will not hold me up in the final days of this process.
Thank God and the Diocese for that.
No matter how hard I try, there are some things I cannot change. Wisdom reminds me that I have limits and shouldn't be upset if I fail to exceed them.
I also am mortal, like everyone else, a descendant of the first-formed child of earth; and in the womb of a mother I was molded into flesh, within the period of ten months, compacted with blood, from the seed of a man and the pleasure of marriage. And when I was born, I began to breathe the common air, and fell upon the kindred earth; my first sound was a cry, as is true of all. I was nursed with care in swaddling cloths. For no king has had a different beginning of existence; there is for all one entrance into life, and one way out. - Wisdom 7:1-6
We all come into this life the same way, and while we experience the same exit, the methods and timing vary. We are all alike, but not the same.
That used to bother me, that some become greater than others. My father taught me that I can be anything I choose, and I have run up against many obstacles along the way, reminders that he never said it would be easy.
As wisdom tells us, kings and other mortals enter the same way. He never said all of us could be kings.
Accepting a call from God to be or do something does not always lead to a formal ceremony at a cathedral. In many cases, there is no other recognition at all, just one's own knowledge that the call was answered. We also have to rely on silent signals at times to know if we got it right, if God is pleased with us.
Ordination is a sacred event, a sacrament, like marriage and baptism. I will include receiving the sacrament of the Holy Eucharist, and it will mark the birth of a ministry that has been growing in the womb for quite a while.
A great deal of attention and focus is given to this moment, and it is a true blessing. It may be easy to think that I become something or someone special, but that isn't true. I became someone special in God's eyes long before I was born. We all did. Something special will happen on Saturday, and I will need that special help from the Holy Spirit to calm my fears, ease my nerves, fill my soul with joy and give me strength for the next part of my journey.
The wisdom I will need will come with God's help. I know that to be true. And I pray for all of God's children who are special in His eyes, who come into this life the same way, and who face the challenges of living it the best way they know how, while listening for and answering that silent call that each of us answers in his or her own way.