What Was I Thinking?
If there is something you want, go for it!
That's the lesson the disciples of Jesus learned by following him. Ask, and you shall receive, right?
James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came forward to him and said to him, "Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you." And he said to them, "What is it you want me to do for you?" And they said to him, "Grant us to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your glory." - Mark 10:35-37
When we read this passage, we can easily get the impression that the brothers, John and James, are looking for glory, wanting to place themselves in positions of power and high station in the new kingdom, and we wouldn't be far off the mark. But before we jump to condemn them for their self-interest, I think we need to take a close look at what preceded their request.
Jesus had just told them that he would be condemned to death, mocked, spit on, flogged and tortured. And their response? Can we be there with you when you are glorified?
Either their timing is lousy, or they aren't paying attention. He just said this is going to be brutal, but they talk as if the battle will be won and they will all be victorious together.
What are they thinking?
Are they only focusing on the reward, or are they pledging total support, even at the cost of their lives?
Well, if outcome is an indicator of intent, then they were simply out for glory, since they did not go with him to their death. They ran away.
It's not a good example for us to follow, is it? We're with you, Jesus, until it becomes rough and then you're on your own?
This Sunday, we will hear The Passion, the Gospel story of the capture, trial and death of Jesus. We experience it right after the glorious return to Jerusalem played out in the Liturgy of the Palms, where we celebrate with joy, Jesus' entry into the city as a king.
Placing the two stories together gives us a glimpse of the pain and solitude Jesus must have felt as he faced his death accompanied only by the women. All the disciples had abandoned him.
They would come to believe in him later, after seeing him resurrected, but at the moment of his death, the ones who swore support were gone, hiding, saving themselves.
The message I get from this is one of commitment, understanding how real my faith needs to be and how determined I am to follow it.
In this age of disposable, upgradable and replaceable everything, sticking to something for a long time is a challenge, but as the stories in The Bible show us, we humans have had a hard time staying committed to God, even when He has given us renewed life or saved us from death.
As we come to the end of our Lenten journey, therefore, I propose a reassessment is in order. Just as the sons of Zebedee needed to stop and ask themselves what they were thinking when they sought to be closer to Christ, I, too, need to ask myself what I was, what I am thinking.
Am I truly, fully, with all my heart and soul and mind in, or not?
It should be a simple question to answer, right?
More to come...
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